TINDER 45 (The end? + epilogue)
Updated: May 14
From: Lyn Coffin <email@example.com>
Date: Tue, May 30, at 9:58 PM
Subject: you never fail to surprise me
To: Austin Nissan <austin.Nissan@earthlink.net>
Alas, I’m afraid I can’t help you out. I don’t have any money at all to speak of- zero investments, zero stocks, zero retirement money. I make sure never to involve myself in any financial dealings whatsoever.
I am naive when it comes to business, but not so naive as to be anybody’s financial representative. To be honest, your last letter is the letter I have been waiting for from the beginning.
How could I, in the U.S., be your representative on the phone when you, in Scotland, can’t broker a deal by phone- if such a deal is indeed going down? I’m sorry, Austin. Is this what our correspondence has been leading up to? It feels sort of like that. Can we still write? Can we meet? I would like that, but perhaps knowing my financial circumstances and knowing I won’t and can’t help you (in this venture nor any future venture)— will make you see our relationship very differently.
I had hoped some of what you expressed in our correspondence was genuine on your part, dear Austin, but now—Here’s the quote that comes to mind:
…The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherits, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made on, and our little life Is rounded with a sleep.
If this is an attempted con, as it seems to be, it is a failure, but not a very expensive one.
If it is not a con, and you want to continue writing to me, that would be wonderful and surprising - As I’ve said all along, you never fail to surprise me, Austin— I hope this letter surprises you a little.
I am supposed either to fall in, go along, get embroiled in this deal, or to become desperately angry and sad, but where there are two alternatives, take the third— Thank you for the joy you brought into my life.
I think I could bring you joy as well- (maybe already have) joy, but not money. Again, this is not me conning you back. This is me, honestly stating that I have no money and no wish to involve myself in corporate business- I believe corporate business consumes hearts and devours souls.
Sending you blessings and love,
-----------------MAY 31, 2016 8:06 PM Austin Nissan updated his profile picture on facebook-------
-----------------On MAY 31, 2016 8:06 PM Austin Nissan updated his profile picture----------
-------------------------JUNE 1, 2016 8:08 PM Facebook message-------------------------
Austin, you never fail to amaze me
To the Reader:
N.B.- This correspondence took place in a couple of months a few years ago. I still wonder who
"Austin" was. I am told I can't use his complete picture (with face) because I might be sued-- By
whom, though? Maybe someday I will be going through an airport and see "Austin."
More probably, Austin was made up by a small group of businessmen in Abu Dhabi or another
unlikely place, and they paid a youngish German model to send them pictures. I'll probably never know.
I still remember how it felt waking up and going to the computer, thinking there might be an
email from Austin. Yes, it was fantasy on my part. But so much of "real love" is-- No, that's wrong. Real love has nothing (or very little) to do with any of this. I see that now. Real love is based on reality. On experience. Not on emails and fantasy projections. But often "real love" starts this way, doesn't it? And then grows and changes- Incorporates all the romantic "fluff" into the reality of two people who learn to love each other.
Austin was a witting or unwitting part of something very ugly. He would have robbed me of
everything I had, if I'd had anything. And all the romantic shop-cropping was just that- a scheme
to defraud "a poor old woman" out of her money. Added space , doesn't it?
Don't I feel stupid for having fallen for such sickening sweet gobbledy gook stuff- At My Age?
Yes. And don't I see how my castles of joy were just so much ice cream- ice cream made out of
sh-t? Yes. I think I must be naive. I think it's not the worst kind of person to be. Also, the gobbledy gook part of things was, to be honest, what felt so wonderful and "young" about this whole thing. Should one who is old long to be young again? Of course not.
However it is to be explained, Austin and I—well, I, at least— had a wonderful adventure. I felt
alive and young and had something to look forward to, a mystery to solve. It all happened in the
space of three months in a long ago spring. I find that amazing.
I saw an "oasis" at the heart of the sensible desert that is too often old age, and I went toward it, only to find it was a mirage.
Dear Reader: If you are male, and think the pictures are of a thinly-disguised "you," please contact me. If you think you know the person pictured here, please let me know. I am offering a substantial reward for any information leading to the tracking down of "Austin." (i.e., my sincere gratitude for satisfying my curiosity, and a free cup of tea or coffee.)